My husband and I have been watching
way to many Christmas Hallmark movies.
I'm sure you have seen some too. We have some favorites already! (my husband already purchased "Five Star Christmas"
which is a new one)
In the past years we got a little tired of the repetitive ones where the prince is about to become the king and needs a queen and finds her in New York City, at an ice skating rink or one of the nannies that are hired for his kids, etc. Please don't give us another one of those.
We always laugh at the shops they portray and how the few customers are in the shop and not buying anything. Trust me, with bills to pay and as a former proprietor of a shop - this is NOT GOOD! Also, the shop owners close up for lunch and take off. This is because sales are unnecessary in Hallmarks. Bookstores don't need to sell books.
Last night I announced to
my husband that I could write a Hallmark story in just 15 minutes. Wrong - it took me an hour. We have several
of those little old towns like the ones they feature that are near us so I decided to write
my story about Fulton, Missouri and I even
included a friend in my story who lives there.
The real Karen Mertens
who lives in Fulton:
So here goes and yes I am sure there are grammatical errors but I'm really not a writer so that gets me off the hook :
A Spoof Hallmark Production Written by Bernideen
Canfield
It all
began in the summer of 2011 when I graduated from High School in Fulton, Missouri. Let me tell you about the events of
my life that summer:
I certainly had no intention of staying in my home town. After 23 years of family sacrifice, my
Grandmother stepped down from her position as the Fulton town Mayor which
frankly consisted of lousy pay and long hours. And did I mention that for the last five years
she had talked about it at every family gathering? While volunteering at the Churchill Museum, I
heard about a summer internship at the Smithsonian Institute so early in the
summer of 2019 and with my Masters Degree in hand I knew I was ready for an
adventure. My Grandmother was in great
health and said she would spend her time in her beloved garden so I set out for
DC. It’s hard coming from a small town
but DC meant a real adventure which I was more than ready for.
After high school and while attending MU, I had dated a
couple of professors at Westminster (our local college) but nothing
serious. I didn’t even find it hard to
say goodbye to my friends – many I had known since grade school. Mr. Sharper, my next door neighbor was
probably going to be the one I would miss.
I had tried every trick in the book to match him up with my Grandmother
but all this was to no avail. She had no
interest in Mr. Sharper because he had allergies and my Grandmother had plants
everywhere in her house – even in the laundry and the bathroom. Once I invited him for Thanksgiving without
telling her who he was. She had agreed I
could bring a friend but didn’t realize it would be him. After sneezing for 15 minutes he excused
himself and down the lane he went in his SUV.
I never call Mr. Sharper by his first name because he’s the sort of man
you refer to with dignity and find yourself thinking of him in a professional
way.
If there was a possible companion for my Grandmother he would
have to love gardening for sure. But let
me get back to my story and tell you that Washington DC was everything I
dreamed about. My job allowed me to
visit eight other museums in town as I was responsible for coordinating various
events at the Smithsonian Institute. I
worked in the same building as some very interesting people (they are
everywhere in DC) but Franklin Sutherland was certainly a person of interest to
me. Franklin was tall and had red
hair. I don’t usually notice men with
red hair but he pulled it off well. My
summer in DC went so fast and before I knew it I was packing to come home. Now this will certainly surprise everyone, I
rode the Amtrack home. Yes, I had come
to DC on the Amtrack leaving from Jefferson City, Missouri, so the return home
late in 2019 was part of the plan.
Mr. Sharper greeted me at the station in Jefferson City and
filled me in on anything he could remember that hadn’t been texted or
emailed. All I could think of was
“please just tell me about my kitty” and finally that news jumped out of his
mouth. He assured me she had missed me
so as we drove home I was anxious to see her.
Mostly, I was horrified to hear that the whole town would be
waiting for my response to Mr. Sharper who had been commissioned to pressure me
into taking the position as town Mayor.
The City Council had met on numerous occasions and Mr. Sharper assured
me my office at City Hall would be redecorated.
I found this whole idea a bit overwhelming and I don’t mean to sound
condescending but I wasn’t impressed at all.
With Christmas coming I knew my Grandmother Karen Mertens would be making all
sorts of plans. She loves to bake and
cook and even in in her retirement remains super involved in all the town
activities.
In Fulton we have a busy schedule of events. Of course, as a town Mayor I would be right
there involved in so much planning.
Really, after a good night of sleep and finding my Kitty spoiled rotten
by Mr. Sharper I decided to to down to city hall and see what the position
entailed. Did I mention that the Mayor’s
office had a real leather sofa? Well, to
make a very long story short, I accepted the position as Mayor and became
buried in Holiday planning. Can you
believe it? Me, Marie as a Mayor of my
little town of Fulton. The Churchill
Museum was in a big commotion about their Director and the staff complained he
spent all his time flirting with the girls over at Westminster and riding his
motorcycle over to Columbia to weekend parties at several sororities on the MU
campus.
I have to admit, that sounded pretty interesting since I
hadn’t had a single date. Not that I
would have had any time anyway. I had
met a coworker at Beck’s for dinner but we are just friends. I did everything I could to avoid Tim Johnson
who owns Brooklyn Pizza on the corner.
He was a pest in high school and still seemed to appear out of nowhere.
The whole town came out for all the Holiday activities this
Christmas. The lighting of the City Hall
Christmas Tree was heralded by carolers and of course as Mayor we had the usual
count down to light the tree. I have to
tell you that the fact that it started to snow as the tree lights came on was
in my opinion something very magical. I
found myself feeling rather proud. I had
arranged for my Grandmother Karen to arrive right at that moment with (of course)
Santa Claus! She was dressed in a red
plaid wool cape with a fur collar. I
know it cost a small fortune but as the former Mayor she was wanting to make an
impression and this she surely did!
After Santa Claus arrived the children of Fulton were
extremely excited and the Fulton High School Chorus spontaneously began to sing
the Hallelujah Chorus! Right there in
front of City Hall I almost fainted! Not
because of Santa or the singers or even my Grandmother…..but as I looked back
in the crowd there he was. It was none
other than Franklin Sutherland, looking very debonair in a black velvet sports
coat with red wool slacks and a red plaid scarf. I have to say, I was totally shocked to see
him. Can you believe it? Franklin Sutherland.
And here is the rest
of my story. Unbeknown to me, Franklin
has just been hired to oversee the Churchill Museum in our town. My Grandmother has wasted no time in inviting
him for Christmas dinner and he seems very pleased. I guess my life in little Fulton, Missouri
won’t be so lonely this Christmas after all.
Now I just hope he doesn’t have
plant allergies and loves kitties!
